Monday, November 18, 2013

Mystical Meerkat

There are many little quizzes going around the social media circuit now, all trying to figure out who we are.  Tests on spirituality, are we left or right brained, what type of animal or Lord of the Rings character are we according to Myers Briggs – all seeking insight into our inner ways.

I tried to take the Lord of the Rings one…but it was so long, I ran out of time…or grew bored. Not sure which.

I know the animal I would be if able to choose…a wolf. But according to what animal reflects my Myers Briggs type? That would be a Meerkat – ethical and idealistic, loyal to family and closest friends, guided by a desire to live a life according to values, curious about those around them, but unwilling to accept threats to the security of their adorable babies or their morals…even when it means a substantial loss of income! Oh well, the trade-off was fantastic, actually.

Why do we take these things? And I admit that I do take these quizzes…at least as long as these do not take more than a few minutes. What are we seeking?

I just took the Upper Room’s “What is Your Spiritual Type?”  My answers resulted in the answer of Mystic. The results?

You are a Mystic, known for your imaginative, intuitive spirituality. You value peace, harmony, and inner silence. Mystics are nurtured by walking alone in the woods or sitting quietly with a trusted friend. You may also enjoy poetry, meditation, wordless prayer, candles, art, books, and anything else that helps you connect with God.
Mystics experience God best through rich images and symbols. You are contemplative, introspective, intuitive, and focused on an inner world as real to you as the exterior one. Hearing from God is more important to you than speaking to God. Others may attribute human characteristics to God, but you see God as ineffable, unnamable, and more vast than any known category. You are intrigued by God's mystery.
Mystics want to inspire and persuade others, and need to live lives of significance. At times you push the envelope of spirituality, helping the rest of us imagine who we might become if we followed your lead.
Sometimes you may feel a bit guilty about your need for solitude and silence. If so, you probably have bought into the American myth that says being alone and doing nothing is lazy, antisocial, and unproductive. Stop it -- now. Give yourself permission to retreat and be alone. It's essential for your well-being.
On the other hand, don't get so carried away retreating that you become a recluse. That only deprives the world of your gifts and deprives you of the lessons that come from being with others. Some Mystics may have a true vocation for solitary prayer, but the rest of you need to alternate retreat time with involvement and interaction.

What I want is for this to be true. I don’t care about the label so much. What I want to be true is that these characteristics fit me, that my life fits into these characteristics. Once upon a time, I think these did. Now, I feel more seriously inclined to just run and hide, fully aware that I am too stressed, too crazy, too exhausted to do anything but go until I drop.

What I wish is that I could sleep at night without grinding my teeth, without awaking into a worry about one kid or another, or about money… What I want is for God to just give me what I need so that I can do all the things I need to do.

Peace, harmony and inner silence may be what I value but these are certainly not in my present scope of being. Whatever imaginative, intuitive spirituality I might have possessed once upon a time have been pushed into a corner with a tiny hope that one day I might once again pick it up again and use it.

I do have an inner world – I am well aware of it. It has always been there…I have even been inside of it often. However, lately…I am on the outside catching only a narrow view of the inside, knowing I am on the wrong side of the door.

I know that the life I am living at this moment is significant. I know how important some of the things that I am doing are. Yet there is such a heavy unrest in the midst of the nonstop activity. There is so little down time. It results in a feeling of ineptness, a wastedness…a feeling that I am on a never-ending treadmill looking at a screen of where I am going rather than actually going anywhere.

Maybe a retreat would help…but then, how do I afford it? How do I make the time for it? It is a luxury to enter into a retreat. Plus, it seems so very selfish…I am sure I am not the only one in our house who needs a retreat! Actually, what we both could use is a week on a Caribbean beach together! LOL

These little quizzes are fun but I wonder what better good these serve. I think there must be a better good. One of the things I know about me is that I do not believe things happen without purpose. Out of every instance, a lesson can be learned.

We are spiritual beings. We seek a higher level of living, an insight into the mind of God. We want to be enlightened, to experience an ethereal light that assures us that we are an integral part of the Creation. We want to know that there is a reason for our existence and that what we do does matter for the good. Sadly, as with so many other things, what we want and what we get are two separate things.

Basically a lesson I must relearn every day is that change begins with me. High ideals come at a price; few good things are easy.

My lesson is that I have to give up on finding peace and harmony through sleep. I have to find another way because I am just not finding it there. Reading, reflection, study, meditation…time will never be found for these things. Therefore, I must make the time, even if it means taking part of the precious time so desired for deep sleep.

If one can believe these quizzes, surely it is true that these things are essential for my well-being.

I accept my mystical meerkat-ness and strive to make it a holy experience.

What’s the use of taking these things if we aren’t going to pay attention? 

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