“Time to Face the Change”

I am changing.

Every day there is something different. I don't think this is a new thing. I just believe it is something that I am beginning to more clearly recognize.

I haven't been very faithful to this blog as of late. I haven't been very faithful to any writing actually. That is one thing that is changing.

There was a reason why I backed out of going to General Convention. I had all sorts of excuses, each and every one of them valid. Regardless of those excuses, there was a more important one.

I believe that this Church cannot be the primary focus of my life right now. I will definitely follow what is going on at General Convention and on a few blogs. I may even say something now and again. But it cannot be my focus. There are plenty of talented writers who are out there blogging their hearts out…my rant does not need to be added.

I don't think I clearly understood why I should not be at GC 09 although there were lots of little reasons why not. I just knew that I could not do it. Our friend David, inadvertently or Spirit-led helped me find that clarity. I think the thing that bothered me most was being a part of something and not being able to finish it. That is what happened to me with Fort Worth and the changes there. Now here it is again with my final months with Integrity – just not being able to be at GC to be a part of the major work that will be done there by people of Integrity. Although I was a bit anxious about not being there, I am ok now.

So, faithful friends and occasional readers, I will not be posting very often for a while. During the time of General Convention, I am going to do two things very deliberately: 1) Pray without ceasing for all the deputies, all the bishops and all those whose well being depend upon the decisions coming out of Anaheim. I will pray that these decision makers will open their hearts to the Holy Spirit and let her guide, push, prod them into understanding and enlightenment, whatever that may be. I will pray that each and every deputy and bishop fully realizes the impact that this diminishing church has on the rest of the world. And I will pray for them to understand that LGBT people are watching and waiting anxiously for a chance to be full members of this so called body of Christ. It will continue to be a so called body of Christ until all persons are welcomed. 2) I will work on the manuscript that has been sitting idle in my computer. Taking the wonderful suggestions of my friend Liz, over the next three weeks, I will whittle this unwieldy tome into something that is worthy of being published.

I think that I have my work cut out for me. While I will not be busy at GC, I will be busy here doing the work that has been given me to do. It may not be the magnitude of the work being done at GC but it is my work and I know that it is important.

Be safe. Be well. Love one another. Pray.

I'll be around…just gotta get some things done. Catch you later, alligator!

Oh My Goodness…The Audacity…

Judge Sonia Sotomayor had the unmitigated gall ( in 2001) to suggest that a "wise Latina woman with the richness of her experiences would more often than not reach a better conclusion than a white male who hasn't lived that life". The nerve…the chutzpah…the cajones (which actually means "drawers" in Spanish).

Oh, my, how dare she offer the idea that a Latina woman – wise or otherwise – might have a better take on a situation simply because of everything she is – a Latina and wise because of her experience – than a male who is privileged simply by the fact that not only is he male but he is white.

If I had a vote, which I don't because who I am not, after all…simply a common person who would never have the money to run for any type of office…IF I had a vote, Judge Sonia Sotomayor would have it simply because she had the unmitigated nerve to speak the truth out loud and proud.

Shame on President Barack Obama who should, by the simple fact that he is a man of color and supposedly understands oppression, for trying to "defuse some of the tension" by stating that her statement was a poor choice of words.

Not to piss off every white male I know and love, but, come on…oppression makes people look at life from a different perspective. It just does. Ask any woman…any woman of color…any Latina…

Can we really claim racism here? Or just honesty?

Let's be honest. For a change.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/15/us/15judge.html

http://voices.washingtonpost.com/44/2009/05/29/white_house_calls_sotomayor_co.html

No More Seasons of Waiting

I would like to ask all those who suggest that some of us wait “for a season” to do the same. How convenient it is for “distinguished theologians” to ask us plain old gays, lesbians, families and friends to wait for a season as they determine our worth, our dignity, our love. They are labeled “distinguished” as we are labeled queer and sinners. They wax philosophically from their throne on high while our children suffer the taunts and abuse of those who justify the hate by the Church’s stance on “homosexuality”. People are hunted down and beaten simply because they are gay – and the “distinguished theologians” want two more years to talk about their ideas on same sex marriage and blessings. Is this what is meant by the sins of the fathers being visited upon the children???

Approximately three years ago , our newly elected Presiding Bishop (who happens to be a woman), asked the gay and lesbian part of the Episcopal Church to hang on for “a season” as we entered into the time of the BO33 stench in hopes that it would lead to a more positive time at Lambeth. What positive affect BO33 had on anything can hardly be determined simply because those who were already in the process of schisming continued on with their schismatic actions. But the negative effect can easily be measured. It can be measured in each and every gay and lesbian Episcopalian couples’ life together…and their children’s…and even in the lives of all those who love them.

Now we are once again being asked to abide for “a season” – this season to last two years. Who cares what the names of the people are on the committee? Who cares if any of them are gay or lesbian? Not me. It matters not a whit to me.

What matters to me is that they still cannot make up their “distinguished” minds. Perhaps the question is so simple that these learned ones, these great thinkers are not able to understand the child-like language – What part of respecting the dignity every human do they not understand? Perhaps it is the word dignity…if dignity means the innate right to respect and ethical treatment, wouldn’t dignity of every human who is baptized be a part of the sharing in the sacraments -- ALL the sacraments, not just one or two?

And in 2011…what then? Are we to be asked one more time to wait “for a season?” Rather than gays and lesbians waiting any longer - or women or people of all other colors than white - how about all of you who claim so "distinguished" role of judging wait until judgment day to let your opinion be known?

Meanwhile, for all the rest of us, I suggest that everyone go find their copy of “Why We Can’t Wait” by the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Don’t wait any longer – go…NOW.

[for more information regarding the source of this waiting, please go to http://www.episcopalcafe.com/lead/bishops/secret_theology_committee_stud.html and to http://inchatatime.blogspot.com/2009/06/update-on-closeted-committee-ghosts-of.html]

Enticer or Enticed?

So many important things are going on in the world at this time…world? Heck, I can't keep up with the country, much less the world! But so many things are happening – good and bad and anxiety fed.

It seems that I get a lot of my news from what is currently causing a ruckus on the House of Bishops and Deputies listserv or on Facebook. A couple of sure things that will always get a good boil going are same sex marriage (aka gay rights/justice) and abortion.

Times of stress and anxiety are not new to the world. These things are historical and basically just a part of life. How we deal with our anxiety levels is the issue.

Yesterday's reading from Deuteronomy (13:1-11) gave me great pause. Not only are we cautioned to not pay attention to those who might be prophets or dream interpreters, but for those who "secretly entices" us, regardless of who these enticers might be, we are to kill them, to "stone them to death" for taking us away from God. Big sigh.

Gosh. I cannot count how many times I have turned away from God – or been turned away by the secret enticement of another (although it was so secret as to be unknown to me). It seems to me that "others" are not really to blame when I turn from God…seems like that might be more of a personal responsibility issue rather than a blame someone else. Yet, the author of this passage clearly states that the one who is enticed shall be the one to first raise the hand to start the execution of the one who enticed. Lord have mercy on Tucker the next time he forgets to do something that I have told him 500 times to do and boy oh boy will he be in trouble when I get so irritated that I totally forget God and I turn all red in the face and scream in anger at him. It is nice to know that he is the enticer and I am the enticed; he is guilty and I am not. Not. So not.

This is one of those passages that I just can't believe is the inerrant word of God. What I think is that it is the word of one who felt led to write it to try to save a group of people who seemed hell bent on straying away from what God tried so many times to make the people understand – Love God, love one another.

But typical of us – we get it wrong every day. We think that because we believe in something so strongly and with what we believe to be clarity that it is what God wants. I would bet that the most recent murder of Dr. Tiller, known as the "abortionist" doctor. The guy who murdered Dr. Tiller in the church in which he worshipped, probably thought that he was acting on the word of God – he was executing one he thought was enticing others to do wrong things. To give gay-bashers the benefit of doubt, maybe they attack, beat and even murder those they think are gay because they believe that being gay or lesbian is sinful and therefore punishable…with them as the executers of the punishment.

Not being a believer in the benefits of capital punishment, I think that there are mountains of proof that punishment, be it capital, torture or incarceration, does little to deter crime. As long as human need and greed are the motivators for committing crime, we will have crime. Being a believer in the idea that crime is an issue of public health (and therefore should be dealt with in measures that are preventative) I do not think that execution is ever a good solution. The threat of it does not keep people from committing a sin, nor does it obliterate the sin.

So, what do we do with this passage? Some group of people thought it was important and left it in. We can't just get in the habit of tossing out those passages that we don't like or with those we disagree. (all the "clobber" passages) But neither can we just accept these in the plain text of the writing. We have to know more than the words on the page.

Deuteronomy is the fifth book in the Hebrew Bible – a part of the Torah, the Pentateuch. Basically, it is the politics of Hebrew law, given to the people by Moses because he knew he would not be there to lead Israel across the Jordan – and God knows, the Hebrews needed something. Even with Moses right there all the time, they had a difficult time following.

Once upon a time a very long time ago, when I was learning to write real estate contracts, I was told by a learned mentor of mine that the more I put on paper the easier it would be for someone to get out of the contract. Well, I don't know if that truly relates to the Mosaic law or not, but Moses seems to be intent upon making certain that he covers all the bases for these people after he is gone.

To me, Moses covers so much that he leaves nothing up to free will. Follow God or die. And while that may be true, can we really follow God simply because we think we will die if we don't?

Can we kill someone because we believe that person has done something wrong, even heinous? Can we beat someone because we disagree with their beliefs? Can we stone our neighbor because her bratty kids keep throwing rocks at our door and denting it? How does "love your neighbor" fit into "stone them to death"?

Harper Collins Study Bible NRSV states that Deuteronomy is the "key" to understanding the whole Pentateuch as the "abiding revelation of God's will for the ongoing life of the covenant people." (p. 266)

Are we still a "covenant people"? Yes, we are, but we are children of the "New Covenant". That is, we are children of God who believe that "Christ has died, Christ has risen, Christ will come again." We believe that Jesus not only died for us, but rose for us and it is through his resurrection we are born again into new life, new hope eternally and forever.

We cannot "stone them to death" nor can we lift our hands in violence against one of these children of God. We cannot hurt, abuse, maim or kill those we consider gay or lesbian or abortion doctors. Nor can we hurt, abuse, maim or kill those who would do the same to gays, lesbians or abortion doctors.

What part of "Love one another" are we just not understanding? So how do we deal with these things that stress us to the point of wanting to exact revenge?

The only way we can understand these things is to know that the "enticer" is not the source of the problem. To blame that "enticer" is to ignore the fact that there is only one thing over which we have control – ourselves. To think that we have no control over our own thoughts, words and deeds is to walk fully outside the circle of love. God holds the power of forgiveness but first we have to stop blaming other when we react to their actions. To allow ourselves to act in retaliation is to be enticed and that sin does not belong to another…only to us.

Herstory retold

I was born and raised with 60 miles of Fort Worth, Texas. My family lineage shows that at least two different lines of it came to Texas in the early 1800s. I am a sixth generation Texan. While I detest much of the politics of the past few decades of Texas government and what has passed as the Episcopal Church, I am proud to be a Texan and love the wild nature and natural diversity of the State.

I came into the Episcopal Church via the Diocese of Fort Worth in 1986. As I came to realize how I did not fit into that narrow idea of church, I found an opportunity to become a part of Integrity. Because of that, I attended General Convention '06. It was there that I found the real Episcopal Church.

I live now in Saint Louis, Missouri, in the Episcopal Diocese of Missouri. While Saint Louis has many problems, it is a beautiful place. Although it is a bit cold far too long for this thin Texas blood, it has been exciting to see four seasons and the absolute beauty of flowers in late summer. Who knew that grass could be green in August?

I came to Saint Louis for one reason – in this diocese, there would be no discernment restrictions placed upon me due to the fact that I am a woman and lesbian in a long term relationship. This does not mean that I would be automatically accepted in a discernment process; rather, it meant only that I would not be automatically denied simply because of these two things. One of the few problems that I have with this diocese is that so many of the people in the church have no idea what it means to live in a despotic diocese – even though Springfield borders this diocese. But then, how could know?

I have worked and worshipped at Christ Church Cathedral Saint Louis for a bit over one year. Fully involved in the community, my discernment committee has been called, we have had a first meeting and I now have this help I need to walk with me on this part of the journey as together we attempt to understand how God is calling me.

As a part of my discernment, I made the decision not to attend General Convention in Anaheim this year. I had been scheduled to work with Integrity during the entire two weeks. While I know this was the right decision for me to make, there is the reality that I will miss it more and more as its time nears.

So, over the next few weeks, I hope to dedicate this blog to an awareness of the problems that still exist in far too many places. Gays, lesbians and women are basically "safe" here in the Diocese of Missouri (at least from a church aspect) but that cannot be said in other places. It is time to change. That cannot be done by sitting still and quiet.

Since there is no need whatsoever in re-creating the wheel, I suggest that those interested go to my sister Elizabeth's blog where she is currently reliving "herstory".

I cried. And then I cried more when I next read this part. Most especially when I read this particular quote: "My ordination will not be complete until everyone who is called to stand where I am privileged to stand is allowed to pursue their vocation - no matter their race, ethnicity, gender, age, socio-economic class or sexual orientation."

I know where Elizabeth Kaeton stands. And I am thankful to have her standing beside me.

Can't help but think...

silly dinks....

http://fwepiscopal.org/news/responsetolawsuit.html

I signed the Dallas Principles

From http://www.thedallasprinciples.org/The_Dallas_Principles/Home.html

THE DALLAS PRINCIPLES

PREAMBLE

President Obama and Congress pledged to lead America in a new direction that included civil rights for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender Americans. We now sit at a great moment in our history that inspires the nation to return to its highest ideals and greatest promise. We face a historic opportunity to obtain our full civil rights; this is the moment for change. No delay. No excuses.

Nearly forty years ago, a diverse group of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people stood up to injustice at the Stonewall Inn in New York City. In doing so, they submitted themselves to bodily harm and criminal prosecution. Their demand was simple – equal protection under the law.

Still today, full civil rights has eluded the same community that rioted forty years ago. Instead, untold sums of resources have been spent to divide our nation and turn our lives into a political football.

At several junctures in American history, the stars have aligned to deliver the promise of equal protection under the law to those previously denied. At this unique time in history, our nation must once again exercise the great tradition of making its people equal. Justice has too long been delayed. A clear path toward full civil equality for the LGBT community is overdue and must come now.

Using fear and misunderstanding to justify discrimination is no longer acceptable in this nation. Those content with the way things are will be judged harshly by history. Those who do not actively advance these ideals or offer excuses will be judged just as harshly. Those who attempt to divide our community or to delay and deny action on civil equality, waiting for the right moment to arrive, will be held accountable. We reject the idea that honoring the founding principles of our country is controversial.

We believe in the inherent human dignity of all people. No longer will we submit our children, our family, our friends and ourselves as a political tool for any Party or ideology. A new day has arrived.

PRINCIPLES

The following eight guiding principles underlie our call to action. In order to achieve full civil rights now, we avow:

1. Full civil rights for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender individuals must be enacted now. Delay and excuses are no longer acceptable.
   
2. We will not leave any part of our community behind.
   
3. Separate is never equal.
   

4. Religious beliefs are not a basis upon which to affirm or deny civil rights.

5. The establishment and guardianship of full civil rights is a non-partisan issue.

6. Individual involvement and grassroots action are paramount to success and must be encouraged.

7. Success is measured by the civil rights we all achieve, not by words, access or money raised.

8. Those who seek our support are expected to commit to these principles.

FULL CIVIL RIGHTS GOALS

Being united by common principles and engaging in united action, we will achieve the following goals:

1. DIGNITY AND EQUALITY. Every lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender person has inherent dignity and worth, and has the right to live free of discrimination and harassment.

2. FAMILY. Every LGBT person has the right to a family without legal barriers to immigration, civil marriage or raising children.

3. ECONOMIC OPPORTUNITY. Every LGBT person has the right to economic opportunity free from discrimination in employment, public housing, accommodation, public facilities, credit, and federally funded programs and activities.

4. EDUCATION. Every LGBT child and youth has the right to an education that is affirming, inclusive and free from bullying.

5. NATIONAL SECURITY. Every LGBT person should have the opportunity to serve our country openly and equally in our military and foreign service.

6. CRIME. Every LGBT person should enjoy life protected against bias crimes.

7. HEALTH CARE. Every person should have access to affordable, high quality, and culturally competent health care without discrimination.

CALL TO ACTION

1. We demand that government officials act now to achieve full civil rights without delay.

2. Our organizations and individuals need to develop a collaborative and revolutionary new organizing model that mobilizes millions of supporters through emerging web and phone technologies.

3. All LGBT individuals must accept personal responsibility to do everything within their power for equality and should get involved in the movement by volunteering, giving and being out.

4. We will hold elected officials and our organizations accountable for being transparent and achieving full civil rights by active participation when possible and active opposition when necessary.

5. Our allies need to be proactive in public support for full civil rights.

6. Every government measure that quantifies the US citizenry must permit LGBT individuals to self-identify and be counted in every way citizens are counted.

7. We demand that the media present LGBT lives in fair, accurate and objective ways that neither include nor give credence to unsubstantiated, discriminatory claims and opinions.

An Appearance of Wisdom

Tucker is one of those types of kids that drive some adults crazy…me, being one of them. He has to touch everything, turn every knob, open every drawer, push every button, open anything that is closed (funny how he never closes anything that is opened though…). He has been that way all of his life. We thought that he would grow out of it as he got older. Here he is at 13 and nothing is sacred to him, most of all, those things that irritate me.

He has no need of personal space so he has absolutely no understanding of those who do. In fact, he is often wounded by those who demand that he back off just a little bit. Reminders do little but quell the momentary action. As soon as a parental back is turned, fingers go to fiddling with whatever is there. We have to hide the pens that we really like because if he has one of them for more than a couple of minutes, the clip is broken off or it is taken apart with all the insides disappearing.

It really is a chore trying to curtail these actions. When he was little, we tried for a little while the hands in pockets trick while we were in a store. Well, the only thing that happened with that was us saying every few minutes, "hands in your pockets!" We became the irritants rather than him. Within moments of any entry we made into any store, the shoppers and workers alike knew Tucker's name.

One of the biggest problems that he has in school is that his teachers are constantly saying, "Tucker…", "Tucker…" for one thing or a dozen. Soon the other students in the class pick up on it and it becomes a "Tucker did it…" type of blame game whether he actually did anything or not.

So, Thursday morning, while reading the Daily Office, this popped out at me. In fact, it screamed.

"If with Christ you died to the elemental spirits of the universe, why do you live as if you still belonged to the world? Why do you submit to regulations, Do not handle, Do not taste, Do not touch? All these regulations refer to things that perish with use, they are simply human commands and teachings. These have indeed an appearance of wisdom in promoting self-imposed piety, humility, and severe treatment of the body, but they are of no value in checking self-indulgence." Colossians 2:20 - 22

When I read it, I immediately thought of this child of ours to whom rules and regulations mean very little.

Tucker is by no means the only child I know who is like this. I think it is safe to say by looking at the statistics on Attention Deficit Disorder and Hyperactivity that we, as a nation, are in the process of bringing up a really large number of these children. But I wonder how many of these kids are truly "disordered"?

Maybe, as the author of Colossians points out, we should question our own actions. Just what we are doing by labeling our children as disordered. Perhaps it is not something that is wrong with them…perhaps it is merely "an appearance of wisdom" on our part.

For if we do claim to be "with Christ" how do we continue to live a life of human regulations that possibly inhibit the Spirit from working with us? Our rules of do not, do not, do not, are human commands and teachings. Do these rules matter to God or in living our lives to the glory of God?

There are several layers to this concern: If we want to go with the idea that these children are "disordered" then why so many? What have we done to create this "disorder"? What is in our environment, our food, our clothes, our water that could cause such vast numbers of attention deficit children? Supposedly, approximately 2 million children in the US have been diagnosed with ADHD.

And if there are that many, what does that mean in terms of how we deal with them? Do we medicate them or not? What if they are not really ADHD; rather, what if they are kinesthetic learners who have need of gross motor movement in order to learn best? There is a fine line in distinguishing the difference between ADHD and a learning style. It is estimated that 15% of the population are kinesthetic learners.

What are we willing to do to our children to make them mind? Are we prepared to subject them to "severe treatment of the body"…for what is a mind altering drug but a severe treatment? Yes, these drugs do help in many cases of ADHD but at what cost? Further, the drugs are just band aids, dealing with the symptoms rather than the cause. What is the cause? Or even more importantly, what is the real problem?

We want life to be simple. I can't see that it ever has been so, not even in the nostalgic era of the 50's – James Dean and Tennessee Williams are just two examples of the angst that existed in some. Life is not simple. It is fast and harried and in the midst of all the rush rush, lonely. We want answers and quick fixes. We want solutions that cause the least amount of worry and pain.

What are we willing to accept for our children for the sake of expediency?

For whose quality of life are we most concerned?

Might we be called into an analysis of our own way of dealing with certain things? Might it be a time when we are called into changing our own ways?